Ah vacation …the wonderful vacation! This year we will have a perfect holiday…me, my husband and our two children. I can just picture a large beach, sun, sand… the three of them building a castle with towers and bridges…me wearing a white dress, sunshade and enjoying the sea breeze. And then a leisurely stroll on the beach, my feet in the white foam of the waves. Enjoying the quiet moments.
Mmm … but now let’s wake up to reality. It would be great to be as I imagined, but usually things are different!
When it comes to choosing a destination, suddenly you realize that nothing will be easy. The husband wants a holiday where we can be with the children but still allow us a greater freedom for a romantic gateway. My older son wants a great location with Wi-Fi, online games, swimming pools, airplane flight. The little one wants a small pool, slides, to sleep and play with Mommy and Daddy. As a woman and mother, I just want quietness – no phones, laptops, tablets, disputes. I want games and activities that involve all of us without nerves and shouting.
So you choose a destination through negotiation. And hope all will have the time of their life. When the day comes for luggage all hell breaks loose. What we need, what to have on, what to put in and no one participating. Tension appears as everything goes dark and bags become a serious source for nerves. Feels like it is impossible to complete the task. Each suitcase contains a smaller or larger package of nerves. So it looks like my ideal holiday from the beginning of this story will be an illusion, a mirage …
But as a woman you know that it could be real!
What can we do in such situations? How to shatter those unwanted “packages” of nerves? How to have an ideal family holiday? What to do?
First, focus on awareness. Even though we are a family, it does not mean you are one and the same person! We all are different, with different behavior and unique characteristics of our own personalities. We must ask ourselves: What points do we have in common? How can we use them?
Once acknowledged, go to step no. two: prioritizing each member. On a sheet of paper, each of you need to describe the ideal holiday: what would be the ideal destination, how do one imagine a perfect vacantion day. If you have small children ( 2 to 5 years old) in the family, through play and drawing ask them what they know about the holiday, what they remember, what they want … take notes and keep in consideration.
Step three: reading each version of the Holiday
Step four: establish common ground, implement a hierarchy. The rest of the topics talk them calmly, insert them on the list of common variants and negotiate until reaching a consensus.
Important: these meetings / family gatherings to discuss the topic of the “holiday” have to be about maximum 40-45 min.
Once the destination is chosen and agreed by the whole family, follows these steps to complete the luggage and even to plan one day trips to various touristic area. Good luck!
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